A California Girl In Kansas

Like any good blog whore (and by whore, I mean someone who blogs, like, a lot), I have a certain addiction to my stats.  Like how many pageviews do I have and what are my top referrers and… You get the point (ok, so maybe half of you do).

One of my favorite things to look at are the Google keywords used to bring someone to the fabulous world of ACGIK.  Here’s a sample:

1. California Girl Valentine’s Day - this one is used A LOT. Which I find oddly disturbing.  Is it because of that damn newspaper article about Carly and I being single on Valentine’s Day?  The front page, above the fold article that actually came out on Valentine’s Day last year?  Gah.  I should have known that was a bad idea.
2. New Kids on the Block Kansas Coliseum or New Kids on the Block Comeback or New Kids on the Block Oakland Coliseum - ‘Nuff said.
3. Crazy Mike Wichita - This one brings in quite a few pageviews.  And, honestly, I really did hope to one day be an authority on the man.  I’m literally patting myself on the back.
4. Can a cop pull you over if your lights aren’t working - Ok, first of all, YES.  Seriously, are you really asking this question of Google?  And second, it might have happened to me a bunch of times while driving the beetle because the headlights on that thing went out, like, every week just to remind me of how stupid it is to buy a car shaped like a bubble because it is not easy to ever fix anything that comes in the shape of the bubble.  Nonetheless, you WILL get pulled over and if you do, smile sweetly and pretend you didn’t know it and thank the police officer repeatedly for letting you know because, my goodness, it certainly isn’t safe to drive around with a headlight out!
5. Giant vagina pictures - I believe this one referred to the pictures of the vagina couch, not my personal private place.
6. Naturist pictures - As in, pictures of people who like hanging out naked, not to be confused by the previous item.  This person liked my blog because they racked up a bunch of pageviews.  To which I say thank you and sorry, because I wasn’t allowed to snap pics of the gobs of naked people frolicking around on the nude beach in St. Maarten, my future home.  But, while I’m on the subject, did you know that there is a NAKED restaurant at the naturist resort there?  Like people eat naked.  Do they use Lysol on the seats afterward?  Do they serve anything particularly hot or cold?  Any spills seem highly questionable, and yet, if you’re a girl with relatively large boobs who knows what happens every time you wear a white shirt and eat something, you may think that this isn’t such a terribly bad idea…  No more spills caught by the shelf.  And by shelf, I mean the boob shelf.
7. “Retail therapy” Kansas - Unfortunately, this had to bring up some disappointing results because unless you live in Overland Park and can handle soccer moms by the dozen, you are S.O.L

And that, my friends, is why I am addicted to checking my stats.